Well I must have done great with my eating over the weekend because I lost 4.4 pounds!!! YAY for me!!! I was actually quite surprised. I truly was expecting to either maintain or gain a little bit because I didn't know exactly how many points I had been consuming! I was telling a couple of the WW leaders this and they were asking me if I wasn't on WW would I have ate what I ate this weekend. I said of course not...I would have had greasy food and desserts!! So, like they said, I made progress right there!
It's funny how in my line of work we talk to our clients about the fact that watching or attending sporting events could be difficult in the beginning esp. if they associate drinking or using drugs during these events...well I discovered on Sunday that food was the same way! The whole time we were watching the game I kept thinking we needed nachos and cookies etc. It's weird how our brains play tricks on us.
Well...nothing really more to report! I hope y'all are enjoying this nice cold weather! I am praying hard for warm weather!! Have a GREAT week!!
Love and Peace to all....Jvonne
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Day 18 - January 23, 2010
Well my mood has certainly improved; however, I'm still frustrated with the stupid weather. Here they talk about this stupid winter storm that is going to be horrible and travel will be impossible etc...so we decided not to go to Pierre and celebrate my step-dads 50th birthday as well as Christmas with my family. Well...guess what....it is Saturday night at 9:30pm and I'm still waiting for the damn storm! UGH!! Why do they even invest in all of the technology!! OK....I'm done now with the weather!
I am very happy that Brian and Mason come to Aberdeen to stay with me though. I stayed in town in case the weather did get bad b/c I don't have vacation time yet so I can't afford to get snowed in somewhere! Anyway, they have been fun! We have been swimming quite a bit. I can't believe how out of shape I am! I swam some laps and wanted to die! I also did some water aerobics and couldn't believe that I used to teach! There is no way I could do that now! Eating wise is also going OK; however, it is really difficult to eat out and figure out the points! I think I have done OK but I guess we will see on Tuesday. I have been making healthy choices so I guess that is all that matters!
I hope y'all are doing OK. Take care and keep on taking care of yourself!
Love and Peace to all.....Jvonne
I am very happy that Brian and Mason come to Aberdeen to stay with me though. I stayed in town in case the weather did get bad b/c I don't have vacation time yet so I can't afford to get snowed in somewhere! Anyway, they have been fun! We have been swimming quite a bit. I can't believe how out of shape I am! I swam some laps and wanted to die! I also did some water aerobics and couldn't believe that I used to teach! There is no way I could do that now! Eating wise is also going OK; however, it is really difficult to eat out and figure out the points! I think I have done OK but I guess we will see on Tuesday. I have been making healthy choices so I guess that is all that matters!
I hope y'all are doing OK. Take care and keep on taking care of yourself!
Love and Peace to all.....Jvonne
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Day 16 - January 21, 2010
Well things are going OK....I say that with a lot of reluctance! I have been rather stressed out due to the stupid weather as well as some other factors and all I want to do is eat. UGH. I did end up using 11 of my extra points and I am disappointed in myself but I guess that is why they are there. It's crazy how when you get in a mood like this when you truly just don't give a shit. I know tomorrow will be a new day and I will make it through but until then...I will remain on my pity pot!
I wonder if skinny people ever experience stuff like this? I'm sure they have similar experiences but I wonder what theirs is like!!
OK...I'm going to close here because I don't want to bring everyone down with me!!!
Take care and I will be more positive next time!
Love and peace to all....Jvonne
I wonder if skinny people ever experience stuff like this? I'm sure they have similar experiences but I wonder what theirs is like!!
OK...I'm going to close here because I don't want to bring everyone down with me!!!
Take care and I will be more positive next time!
Love and peace to all....Jvonne
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Day 14 - January 19, 2010
Well today was the dreaded weigh in day and it turned out GREAT. I had lost 4.2 lbs! I was pleasantly surprised and happy! I have to be honest...I was quite nervous just because last week was kind of a let down! Our topic today was on being active and even though I know the key to this whole thing is not only diet but also exercise it was quite motivating!
It's funny because I was at the grocery store tonight and in my mind I thought I deserved a reward because I did so well today. Well keep in mind my rewards have always been food! So, I decided I would get something I enjoy! I have never spent so much time looking at points on candy to realize there really isn't a good candy!! I was happy that I took the time to look into it versus buying it impulsively; however, I was quite disappointed that I couldn't find a good candy!!!!!!!!!!
I have said this over and over but I find healthy eating to be a lot of work! There is so much planning that needs to take place so I don't just give in and eat whatever is there. One of my co-workers was so nice today. She wanted to bake so she took it upon herself to look up a weight watchers cookie recipe. She told us that she wanted to bring a treat but she knew that a bunch of us were trying so hard so she wanted to bring something we could all eat! It's nice to work at a place like that!
Well...I'm going to end here. I'm watching Biggest Loser right now and for those of you that watch it...Jillian is on a role so I need to listen!! Maybe she should come and talk to some of our clients!!!!
Love and Peace to all.....Jvonne
It's funny because I was at the grocery store tonight and in my mind I thought I deserved a reward because I did so well today. Well keep in mind my rewards have always been food! So, I decided I would get something I enjoy! I have never spent so much time looking at points on candy to realize there really isn't a good candy!! I was happy that I took the time to look into it versus buying it impulsively; however, I was quite disappointed that I couldn't find a good candy!!!!!!!!!!
I have said this over and over but I find healthy eating to be a lot of work! There is so much planning that needs to take place so I don't just give in and eat whatever is there. One of my co-workers was so nice today. She wanted to bake so she took it upon herself to look up a weight watchers cookie recipe. She told us that she wanted to bring a treat but she knew that a bunch of us were trying so hard so she wanted to bring something we could all eat! It's nice to work at a place like that!
Well...I'm going to end here. I'm watching Biggest Loser right now and for those of you that watch it...Jillian is on a role so I need to listen!! Maybe she should come and talk to some of our clients!!!!
Love and Peace to all.....Jvonne
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Day 12 - January 17, 2010
Well...not a whole lot to share regarding these past two days! I have noticed that there are times when the "voices" get stronger and then other times it's easy as can be!!! I prefer the easy voices versus the hard!!! I have been staying within my point range and actually am starting to feel somewhat satisfied! It's amazing how your body goes through so many things when you eat horrible and then it goes through a ton of other things when you try to start eating well!!
I finally made it to the gym tonight for the first time in 2 1/2 months and it felt GREAT! As I was getting ready to leave my former personal trainer came in and it was great to see him as well. It was kind of another nice motivator!!
Weigh in takes place in 2 more days...let's hope this week goes better!!
I'm off to bed.....:)
Love and Peace to all....Jvonne
I finally made it to the gym tonight for the first time in 2 1/2 months and it felt GREAT! As I was getting ready to leave my former personal trainer came in and it was great to see him as well. It was kind of another nice motivator!!
Weigh in takes place in 2 more days...let's hope this week goes better!!
I'm off to bed.....:)
Love and Peace to all....Jvonne
Friday, January 15, 2010
Day 10 - January 15, 2010
Carrots are my friend...Carrots are my friend...Carrots are my friend! I figure if I tell myself this over and over the "bad" voices will go away! I stopped at subway this evening and they had just taken cookies out of the oven...OMG did I just go into dream land right there!! It was horrible...BUT...good news...I didn't cave even though they were trying to sell some to me!! I think it should be illegal to sell cookies at subway!!
I have to share a funny dream! So I woke up this morning in a panic because I had a dream that I had gone out to eat and we had all just went crazy with food. I remember we ate cheeseburgers and a ton of other stuff. The funny thing is it was all greasy, fried food and if I were to go on a binge it certainly wouldn't be that!! Anyway, I woke up thinking it was real and I had used all my points and wasn't sure what I was going to do today etc. I finally woke up enough to realize it was a bad dream!! So would this be considered a "using" dream!!!!
Really nothing else too exciting to report. Finally hitting the gym tomorrow and I'm excited!!! I hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend and when times get tough or it doesn't seem like we are getting what we want just stop and think about all of those poor souls in Haiti.
Love and Peace to all....Jvonne
PS...so this weekend is the big half marathon in Phoenix and my sister in law is partaking for the 2nd year in a row. Anyway, my good friend Kelcy and I are going to shoot for that next year...no...we ARE going to do it next year! Anyone care to join us? We will have a BLAST!!!
I have to share a funny dream! So I woke up this morning in a panic because I had a dream that I had gone out to eat and we had all just went crazy with food. I remember we ate cheeseburgers and a ton of other stuff. The funny thing is it was all greasy, fried food and if I were to go on a binge it certainly wouldn't be that!! Anyway, I woke up thinking it was real and I had used all my points and wasn't sure what I was going to do today etc. I finally woke up enough to realize it was a bad dream!! So would this be considered a "using" dream!!!!
Really nothing else too exciting to report. Finally hitting the gym tomorrow and I'm excited!!! I hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend and when times get tough or it doesn't seem like we are getting what we want just stop and think about all of those poor souls in Haiti.
Love and Peace to all....Jvonne
PS...so this weekend is the big half marathon in Phoenix and my sister in law is partaking for the 2nd year in a row. Anyway, my good friend Kelcy and I are going to shoot for that next year...no...we ARE going to do it next year! Anyone care to join us? We will have a BLAST!!!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Day 9 - January 14, 2010
Good Evening to all!! I apologize for you faithful followers for missing an evening but I was frustrated, irritated, and just plain tired and crabby last night!!! Yesterday started out fairly well with eating and then after work it all went to hell in a hand basket!! For those of you that don't know I am currently commuting from Watertown to Aberdeen for work which is 100 miles one way. At first I really didn't mind the drive at all; however, it is now a drag!!! So, I stopped at the gas station and grabbed a soda and was also STARVING...mistake number 1!! I grabbed a chex mix thing and a soda and went up to pay and as I was paying looked over and saw these cookies and grabbed one of those too! I ate it all on the way home and honestly can say I didn't even enjoy it 100%. I'd be lying if I didn't enjoy it at all but not as much as I had wanted to! I was still ok because I had 35 extra points for the week; however, I really didn't want to use them!!! It's crazy how you impulsively act!! Unfortunately...it didn't stop there!!! We went to Guadalaraja's for supper and I actually did ok there. I had a chicken taco with some spanish rice and about 20 chips. Again, I stayed in my point range for the day; however, I had used the rest of them on this meal so I was hungry but the nights end!!! Someday, I will get this down!!
Today went MUCH better!!! I was so happy to have such a wonderful supper at home. For those of you that don't know me that well we are unfortunately ones that eat out a lot! So, it was a VERY nice treat to eat at home and I look forward to doing that a lot more often. We have a program at work called smart movers to where they have you fast and check your cholesterol and glucose etc. Well today we found out our results and all of my numbers were great except for my weight....well there is a news flash!!! All sarcasm aside...I did not do the program to see that I was overweight I did it in order to get my blood checked! I was happy with the results and it was motivating for me in that it will keep me going in order to make my numbers even better!
Another cool thing is that I was given a WW food scale for Christmas one year and honestly didn't use it a whole lot because I didn't take the time to learn how to use it. Well anyway, I took it out tonight and took the time to figure it out and all I can say is AWESOME!!! You can punch in foods or nutrition information on that food and place the food on the scale and wala...you have the points!!! YAY!!!
Well...I'm getting ready to wrap up my evening. I hope y'all are doing well and I don't know about the rest of you but TGIF!
Love and peace to all....Jvonne
Today went MUCH better!!! I was so happy to have such a wonderful supper at home. For those of you that don't know me that well we are unfortunately ones that eat out a lot! So, it was a VERY nice treat to eat at home and I look forward to doing that a lot more often. We have a program at work called smart movers to where they have you fast and check your cholesterol and glucose etc. Well today we found out our results and all of my numbers were great except for my weight....well there is a news flash!!! All sarcasm aside...I did not do the program to see that I was overweight I did it in order to get my blood checked! I was happy with the results and it was motivating for me in that it will keep me going in order to make my numbers even better!
Another cool thing is that I was given a WW food scale for Christmas one year and honestly didn't use it a whole lot because I didn't take the time to learn how to use it. Well anyway, I took it out tonight and took the time to figure it out and all I can say is AWESOME!!! You can punch in foods or nutrition information on that food and place the food on the scale and wala...you have the points!!! YAY!!!
Well...I'm getting ready to wrap up my evening. I hope y'all are doing well and I don't know about the rest of you but TGIF!
Love and peace to all....Jvonne
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Day 7 - January 12, 2010
Well...I was actually kind of looking forward to the weigh in today until I stepped on the scale...I GAINED a frickin 1/2 pound. WHAT???? I was actually quite shocked only because this is probably one of the first times I can actually say I have been 100% honest on this go around as far as what I'm eating!! But, I am also going to move on and keep plugging along! The WW leader was so awesome and she could tell I was shocked. She reminded me that this is the first week and our bodies are adjusting etc. So...I will go full force this week and start incorporating exercise and see what next week brings.
We talked about filling foods today in our meeting and it really hit home. I'm eating my points but not with filling food so I'm always feeling hungry. My goal this week is to make sure that half of my meals are with filler foods. It's so easy to grab WW meals and deli meats but I think I need too watch that too! Wow...eating healthy takes a ton of preparation!!! CRAZY!!! No wonder we all love drive throughs!!!
Well...I don't have much more to type. I'm watching Biggest Loser so I am going to put my energy into that!!
Take care and have a GREAT night!
Love and peace to all....Jvonne
We talked about filling foods today in our meeting and it really hit home. I'm eating my points but not with filling food so I'm always feeling hungry. My goal this week is to make sure that half of my meals are with filler foods. It's so easy to grab WW meals and deli meats but I think I need too watch that too! Wow...eating healthy takes a ton of preparation!!! CRAZY!!! No wonder we all love drive throughs!!!
Well...I don't have much more to type. I'm watching Biggest Loser so I am going to put my energy into that!!
Take care and have a GREAT night!
Love and peace to all....Jvonne
Monday, January 11, 2010
Day 6 - January 11, 2010
Good Evening to all! Man am I a stress eater! Work today was CRAZY and someone had licorice in the snack room so without even thinking I went and looked at the serving size (because it is easier to count the points then!!!) and ate 4 pieces. When I got back to my office and figured the points I found out they were 3 points. Now for some of you that may be well worth it but if I'm going to waste 3 points on stupid licorice I want it chocolate coated...NOT flavored but coated! I was thinking man I could have had a small bag of popcorn and a WW yogurt for the same amount! So I learned two things today...one...avoid the snack room esp. when stressed out and two...go to my office, take deep breaths, figure out the points and then proceed!!!
Tomorrow I go back for my 2nd week and 1st weigh in to see if any progress has been made! A part of me feels like I have gained and a part of me feels nothing. I know...it's only week 1 and I can't expect miracles!! I keep thinking my mirror will change but it hasn't! I also have to go get my blood drawn in the morning for them to check my blood sugars and cholesterol. Our work puts on a program called smart movers for free and this is part of the screening. It will be fun to do it again next year and compare the results!
Alright...I'm ending here. I'm yawning and can barely concentrate. Take special care of yourselves and stay tuned for hopefully and loss tomorrow!
Love and peace to all...Jvonne
PS...if any of you have friends, family, or acquaintances out there that you feel will benefit from this blog please feel free to pass it along. Not only is this to help me but hopefully others as well!
Tomorrow I go back for my 2nd week and 1st weigh in to see if any progress has been made! A part of me feels like I have gained and a part of me feels nothing. I know...it's only week 1 and I can't expect miracles!! I keep thinking my mirror will change but it hasn't! I also have to go get my blood drawn in the morning for them to check my blood sugars and cholesterol. Our work puts on a program called smart movers for free and this is part of the screening. It will be fun to do it again next year and compare the results!
Alright...I'm ending here. I'm yawning and can barely concentrate. Take special care of yourselves and stay tuned for hopefully and loss tomorrow!
Love and peace to all...Jvonne
PS...if any of you have friends, family, or acquaintances out there that you feel will benefit from this blog please feel free to pass it along. Not only is this to help me but hopefully others as well!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Day 5 - January 10, 2010
Holy Cow...is it really the 10th of January already??!! Where in the world does time go! If weight loss only went as fast as time then things would be GREAT!!! Today was ok. I struggled mostly this afternoon and evening. I did a couple of major no-no's tonight!! First was I went to Applebees STARVING!!! So, Brian and I were going to do the two for $20 which was great because I had the chicken Caesar salad minus the dressing; however, we got wings for the appetizer. I told myself that a "few" should be just fine and that I had extra points. Well I had 5 of them...3 more than I had planned on...and I didn't know exactly how many points they were until after the fact!!! Well for 5 of them I figured about 15 points...ouch...that is 2 meals for sure if not 2 1/2. So...I know not to go hungry and also to know my points value prior to me going anywhere!!! I found a really cool website called fatsecret.com. They have a lot of cool information and you can find foods and they have the points for you.
Other than that...things are going fine. I am going to start taking a picture once a month starting this Tuesday so that will be my 2nd weigh in. I'm not looking forward to having my pic taken in a swim suit; however, a VERY good friend of mine did this and you can really see the changes. She is an inspiration!
I hope you all had a GREAT weekend and I hope the week to come is not too crazy. Remember to take care of yourselves because you are all worth it!
Love and peace to all....Jvonne
PS...I have had people share some secrets for eating, snacks, filling healthy foods etc...PLEASE continue!!!
Other than that...things are going fine. I am going to start taking a picture once a month starting this Tuesday so that will be my 2nd weigh in. I'm not looking forward to having my pic taken in a swim suit; however, a VERY good friend of mine did this and you can really see the changes. She is an inspiration!
I hope you all had a GREAT weekend and I hope the week to come is not too crazy. Remember to take care of yourselves because you are all worth it!
Love and peace to all....Jvonne
PS...I have had people share some secrets for eating, snacks, filling healthy foods etc...PLEASE continue!!!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Day 4 - January 9, 2010
Well I missed blogging Day 3 so I will combine 3 and 4! Day 3 actually sucked big time! I have never struggled so hard with something in my life! It's amazing how bad your brain plays tricks on you. I went to subway on lunch break and I knew I wanted to get a turkey sub on whole wheat with veggies, olive oil and baked chips. I also knew exactly how many points it would be etc . However, the minute I got into my car my brain started saying things like this...well since you are eating baked chips and a turkey sub go ahead and get a cookie....oh...a Chocolate Chip cookie...man that sounds sooooo good...just one won't hurt....hell since you are getting one and screwing it all up you might as well get 3 because it is cheaper that way...needless to say this tape played over and over and over again until I got to subway. Once there...it intensified. Long story short I didn't cave and buy any cookies but it sucked and was very tough. I was very happy that I didn't get even one because I learned that they were 5 points for one!!
Today...day 4...has actually been a little easier. I have certainly had my cravings and wants; however, I haven't found them to be as obsessive. I am hoping to start some form of working out on Monday. I haven't really decided what I want to do yet but I know it will be something!
The other thing I noticed, well I've always known but for some reason it struck me more today, was that I have finally figured out why America has such a problem with obesity. I went grocery shopping and was irritated at how expensive it is to eat healthy. It they would reverse the whole thing and charge more for junk food then we probably wouldn't have such a problem. The money that the health care system and businesses would save would be huge and then they could pump some of that back into the food market! Just a thought but I'm pretty sure it won't happen in my life time!
Well...I think that is enough for tonight. For those of you that are into the football playoffs I hope that you were happy with the playoff games today! I was hoping the Cowboys/Eagles game would have been better but oh well!
Take care and continue to stay warm!
Love and peace to all...Jvonne
Today...day 4...has actually been a little easier. I have certainly had my cravings and wants; however, I haven't found them to be as obsessive. I am hoping to start some form of working out on Monday. I haven't really decided what I want to do yet but I know it will be something!
The other thing I noticed, well I've always known but for some reason it struck me more today, was that I have finally figured out why America has such a problem with obesity. I went grocery shopping and was irritated at how expensive it is to eat healthy. It they would reverse the whole thing and charge more for junk food then we probably wouldn't have such a problem. The money that the health care system and businesses would save would be huge and then they could pump some of that back into the food market! Just a thought but I'm pretty sure it won't happen in my life time!
Well...I think that is enough for tonight. For those of you that are into the football playoffs I hope that you were happy with the playoff games today! I was hoping the Cowboys/Eagles game would have been better but oh well!
Take care and continue to stay warm!
Love and peace to all...Jvonne
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Day 2 - January 7, 2010
Well today went better than yesterday I believe! Although I know it is only 6:30 and we have the evening to go but I think I will be fine. So, what are some things I have noticed or experienced today!? Well...the list could go on. I think the biggest thing I realized was exactly how bad I have been eating the past 6 months or so. I knew I was eating bad and unhealthy items, I just didn't realize how often or how much until I started keeping track. I had to dive into my extra points yesterday and I was shocked that I was still hungry!!! I will need to learn some tricks of keeping full as well as changing my mind set and stop thinking that I am always hungry. The other thing I just realized, or maybe I should say accepted, was that I am always looking for a quick fix! I am watching Entertainment tonight and they said, coming up, women who have lost half their size and my first thought was "Oh my, I need to watch that and see what they did"! I know what to do and I know how to do it so I don't think I need to read or listen to anything anymore! Like Nike says...Just Do It!!!
Anyway, I don't believe I will have to use any of my extra points today so that is a good feeling. I am anxious to get home so I can actually start doing a little exercise. No I'm not looking forward to exercising, I'm just looking forward to speeding up the process!! For those of you that say you love the gym or working out I have one word for you...LIARS!!!!! Just kidding...I know there are some out there that truly do enjoy it...I just do it because I know it is good for me!!
Thanks for all of your support and in a year from now I look forward to reading these beginning entries and laugh at myself!!
I hope you all have a VERY warm evening!
Love and peace to all....Jvonne
Anyway, I don't believe I will have to use any of my extra points today so that is a good feeling. I am anxious to get home so I can actually start doing a little exercise. No I'm not looking forward to exercising, I'm just looking forward to speeding up the process!! For those of you that say you love the gym or working out I have one word for you...LIARS!!!!! Just kidding...I know there are some out there that truly do enjoy it...I just do it because I know it is good for me!!
Thanks for all of your support and in a year from now I look forward to reading these beginning entries and laugh at myself!!
I hope you all have a VERY warm evening!
Love and peace to all....Jvonne
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Day 1 - January 6, 2010
If any of you are grammar critique rs or spelling Nazis then stop here and do not read any further!!!
Well...as I am sitting here in my hotel room in Aberdeen, due to being on call, I keep trying to come up with all of the reasons as to why I shouldn't do this! The main reason that keeps coming to my mind is shame and embarrassment. So I think back to all of the Biggest Loser contestants and think "I wonder how they must feel weighing in in front of everybody in their shorts and bra (if female). So, that was a reality check for me. I'm a firm believer that in order to progress we need to be open and honest and share with others in order to hold us accountable. So with that, I have decided to start a blog of my journey. I will be sharing some things that I would have NEVER dreamt of sharing with close friends let alone anyone who cares to read it, but I think I need to in order to move on. If you so choose to read my blogs, may you find them funny, tear jerking, frustrating, etc. but PLEASE do not ever feel sorry for me. For those of you that know me know that I am a very strong, determined person and I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. The only thing I ask is for support, encouragement, and a good kick in the ass when needed!! Through my journey, I hope to help and inspire some of you out there.
So, enough rambling already and on with the journey!
Even though I call today day 1, yesterday was actually the start! I joined Weight Watchers with some co-workers and that was an eye opener. I weighed in at a whopping 311.6 pounds. I can hear some gasps now as well as some people saying oh Jvonne how could you let yourself get that heavy. Well let me tell you, if I had the answer I probably wouldn't be this heavy! For those of you who have ever struggled with weight know that it is much easier to put on that take off and once you get some of it off it comes on VERY quick if you aren't careful! I really have no excuses or justifications other than the fact that I quit eating healthy and I quit working out! Amazing how those two things go hand in hand! So, my goal weight is 180 for now. The lowest I have ever been, that I can remember, is 211. I felt so good then and will be back there and then some!
So, day 1 started out feeling great, invigorating, and motivating; however, that feeling quickly left when I realized that I was being conscious of what I was eating instead of eating whatever I wanted. It then turned into a "this sucks" attitude! I found today that I had to check myself several times. It's ironic how I'm an addictions counselor and I'm struggling with an extremely hard one right now myself! So, I felt hungry a lot of today and I had to keep telling myself that this too will pass, drink some more water, and you will eat soon. On the Biggest Loser they always promote Extra gum and let me tell you I think I will be keeping them in business! I must say it did help; however, I'm not stupid either and I allowed my brain and stinking thinking to kick in and say "it's just gum and what good is this!" So, tonight seems to be a little better. I tell myself over and over again that this is a good thing and eventually it will become easier, not easy but easier, and I will be happy with myself once again! I think the biggest thing I will need to work on is keeping myself busy so I don't obsess over food and keeping track of EVERYTHING I eat! They said yesterday if you bite it then write it! This is hard for me because I think oh it's just one bite! Anyway, I will end here and continue on tomorrow. It's a new day and I'm looking forward to another adventure!
Love to all...Jvonne
Well...as I am sitting here in my hotel room in Aberdeen, due to being on call, I keep trying to come up with all of the reasons as to why I shouldn't do this! The main reason that keeps coming to my mind is shame and embarrassment. So I think back to all of the Biggest Loser contestants and think "I wonder how they must feel weighing in in front of everybody in their shorts and bra (if female). So, that was a reality check for me. I'm a firm believer that in order to progress we need to be open and honest and share with others in order to hold us accountable. So with that, I have decided to start a blog of my journey. I will be sharing some things that I would have NEVER dreamt of sharing with close friends let alone anyone who cares to read it, but I think I need to in order to move on. If you so choose to read my blogs, may you find them funny, tear jerking, frustrating, etc. but PLEASE do not ever feel sorry for me. For those of you that know me know that I am a very strong, determined person and I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. The only thing I ask is for support, encouragement, and a good kick in the ass when needed!! Through my journey, I hope to help and inspire some of you out there.
So, enough rambling already and on with the journey!
Even though I call today day 1, yesterday was actually the start! I joined Weight Watchers with some co-workers and that was an eye opener. I weighed in at a whopping 311.6 pounds. I can hear some gasps now as well as some people saying oh Jvonne how could you let yourself get that heavy. Well let me tell you, if I had the answer I probably wouldn't be this heavy! For those of you who have ever struggled with weight know that it is much easier to put on that take off and once you get some of it off it comes on VERY quick if you aren't careful! I really have no excuses or justifications other than the fact that I quit eating healthy and I quit working out! Amazing how those two things go hand in hand! So, my goal weight is 180 for now. The lowest I have ever been, that I can remember, is 211. I felt so good then and will be back there and then some!
So, day 1 started out feeling great, invigorating, and motivating; however, that feeling quickly left when I realized that I was being conscious of what I was eating instead of eating whatever I wanted. It then turned into a "this sucks" attitude! I found today that I had to check myself several times. It's ironic how I'm an addictions counselor and I'm struggling with an extremely hard one right now myself! So, I felt hungry a lot of today and I had to keep telling myself that this too will pass, drink some more water, and you will eat soon. On the Biggest Loser they always promote Extra gum and let me tell you I think I will be keeping them in business! I must say it did help; however, I'm not stupid either and I allowed my brain and stinking thinking to kick in and say "it's just gum and what good is this!" So, tonight seems to be a little better. I tell myself over and over again that this is a good thing and eventually it will become easier, not easy but easier, and I will be happy with myself once again! I think the biggest thing I will need to work on is keeping myself busy so I don't obsess over food and keeping track of EVERYTHING I eat! They said yesterday if you bite it then write it! This is hard for me because I think oh it's just one bite! Anyway, I will end here and continue on tomorrow. It's a new day and I'm looking forward to another adventure!
Love to all...Jvonne
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)